Thursday, April 5, 2018


Our Needs, His Desire



The dating site said they would match you with someone completely compatible with you. The lie starts there. If you are honest and answered all the questions you might never get a date. Fear, anxiety and loneliness will surely follow. The compatibility questions go something like this. What do you enjoy more, walks on the beach, hikes in the mountains, a football game on TV or a tear jerker movie?

Your perfect date would be, a romantic candlelight dinner, a good movie followed by a long walk, a night at the bar shooting pool or crack climbing Devil’s Tower?

Today you can find a dating site designed for people with similar interests. Cowboys, extraterrestrials, conspiracy, old people, wine drinkers all focus on the same thing. All focus on putting people together who like the same thing, no matter what that ‘thing’ is.

Here’s the problem and why these sites almost never work long term. If I am looking for someone who likes mystery, bigfoot, astrologers who are Alabama fans then I am looking for someone who I think pleases me. Therein lies the rub.

Since I am being completely selfish in what I want, even when the ‘love of my life’ likes the same things, once we move in together we find that our love is in love with themselves just as much as we are. Even if we like the same things, sometimes we won’t like them at the same time. Who ‘wins’? You want to go see the new whodunit movie while your (in)significant other wants to watch the game.

Since you based your whole love life on what you want, what happens when you don’t get what you want?

Consider Hosea in the Bible. Wait, what does the Bible have to do with my love life and my happiness? Everything, if you claim to be a follower of Christ. Hosea was such a follower and God told him to marry the prostitute Gomer. He knew her past, so did everyone else. Marrying her was not in his ‘compatibility’ quotient. Hosea up to this point had been seen as an honorable man in society. Gomer was the woman guys went to when they weren’t feeling to compatible with their wives.

God had His reasons. The reason for the marriage was so Israel would see just how they were acting toward God. They were acting like Gomers and prostituting their love for God with gods of their own making. That is exactly what we do when we try to build our lives on what we want and not on what God wants. Our needs come first. Our desires come first. In short, we become our own gods and the God who created us takes a backseat, a co-pilot seat or gets kicked out of our lives altogether.

More on Hosea and Gomer.

But Christ Jesus is the ultimate groom. He has perfect qualifications. He is exactly what we need. He is kind, compassionate, loving, caring, not focused on self, taking care of all our needs. He loves long walks and talks.

His bridegroom (us) is the worst bride ever. Bridezilla they call it today. Our focus is on us only. We are seen spitting on Him, beating Him, cursing Him and killing Him to get Him out of our lives. Our hearts are only evil continually. Our motives revolve around getting what we want. Every dating site today profits from our lust for self. Even ‘Christian’ dating sites don’t ask questions like, how will you respond when your mate leaves you for a prostitute on your honeymoon? Or, how will you show your love for your mate while they are beating you and humiliating you in public?  

Christ did exactly that. He showed His love by dying for the very soldiers who flogged Him. He went through crucifixion for the apostles He called while they were running from knowing Him. He died for us despite the fact that we show our hate for Him daily with our lies, our disowning actions, our selfish sins.

[Philippians 2:1-11 ESV] 1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

The world will see us as Christians when we start acting like it. We have that opportunity every day. We can show that type of love toward our spouses even when they are not taking care of our perceived ‘needs’. In fact, that is the best time to show it for they and the world won’t understand what you are doing. They will ask, how can you put up with her? Why do you stay with him? Here is your chance to be the counselor, the disciple maker God called you to be.

I stay with him or I put up with her because God puts up with me. God forgives me. God set my example.

You say wait, hold on. I am not married. This doesn’t apply to me. Not true my friend. You have the opportunity to reach and teach other unmarrieds of this truth. How? Live it. This will create questions among your friends. Why won’t you go out with Freda? Why does her lifestyle bother you? Don’t you want to get married? What are you looking for anyway?

Divorced? You have an even better opportunity among those who know what you have been through. Your friends will tell you to get back in the game. They will try to match you up with friends of friends. If you see yourself as the unselfish Christlike person in your former marriage you might want to reconsider. Look at your life, contemplating on the verses above and see how you match up to the perfect Groom. Has your life been completely selfless? Have all your actions during and after the divorce been one of love toward your ex? Pray that God will change you now so that you can now make a difference. What if your friends and family began seeing a Christlike life in you, one that mirrors His totally selfless acts. A life that shows Christ’s love through you to your former spouse?

Then you have an opportunity. Why are you being nice to him now? Why are you giving her more child support than she asked for? You have changed. What happened? Here’s your chance to share the work God has done in you. This is your chance to make a difference in your children, and your children’s children.

God exalted Jesus after He was obedient, after He went through hell. Why do we think we deserve better? Why do we think we can bypass the hard stuff? Maybe we think we are better than God.   Notice God’s purpose. So that, at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.

Kneel now, for the right reason.

I have included Steve Gallagher’s Deny Yourself compliments of Chapel Library in Pensacola .


To dig deeper in how to live as God intended in marriage here is an article from my friend Dr. Abercrombie of the Biblical Counseling Institute.




Thank you for taking the time to read this. If I can help in any way please let me know.

Jeff Sutherland

Fort Morgan Ministries
fortmorganministries@gmail.com
FortMorganMinistries.blogspot.com
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Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Have You Ever? An Easter message.


Have you ever?

Have you ever had to take a completely different direction in life? Things were going smoothly when all of the sudden you got fired, or had a serious illness or some other life changing event?

Peter convinced the other disciples that the thing to do when that happens is to just go fishing! I’ve never been much of a fisherman but I have lost a job and been confronted with life changing events. Most of us do what Peter and his friends did.  We run back to what we know, what is comfortable.

We catch up with the story in John 21. Understand, Peter and the rest of the disciples had walked with Jesus for three years. They heard the parables, saw the miracles, were even there to have all those things explained to them. Jesus told them many times what He was about to go through, yet when the scene went down they all scattered. They denied knowing Him.

After His resurrection the disciples saw Him many times yet still we see Peter convincing his friends to ‘go back to fishing’. Before Jesus, that was all they knew. After all this, they still did not understand, Jesus’ teaching and death and burial and resurrection had little impact on them. They were doing what we do, running back to what we know.

Their results were about like mine. After three years in ministry, something happened to test my resolve to continue. I did attempt to go back to landscaping but like Peter and friends, I ‘caught’ nothing.

Also like Peter, right at that moment Jesus was standing on shore watching and tells them how to quickly correct their error. Throw your nets on the other side of the boat, and they caught more than they could haul in. Their efforts all night has been fruitless.

Imagine the disciples coming on shore and the fire was laid with fish already cooking. That breakfast at Galilee was thanks to the ultimate provider for us all. May I add a new name of God? The chef of heaven!

I have fished a few times and I have cooked over an open fire many times but having the chef of heaven lay out a breakfast for me at a time when I am starving physically and spiritually was something I hadn’t experienced until I was in the boat with Peter, so to speak, running back to what I knew how to do, rather than what God wanted me to do.

Peter had denied Christ three times in one night. I have far exceeded that and you have too. But Jesus restored him three times, once for each time. He will do it for you and I too. Jesus didn’t just forgive him. He challenged him to feed His sheep. He pushed him to get busy doing what He had been telling him to do all along, follow His example.

Die to self, live for others, feed the needs, be ready at their most vulnerable point. His implied promise was that as Peter and friends did as God commanded them, He would bless their efforts. Check out Peter in Acts 3-4 and you will see the change believing will make.

No longer was Peter denying Christ. No longer was he encouraging others to go back to fishing, or living as if the resurrection didn’t matter. He was preaching in the synagogues and on the street corners to every Jew, Greek, Gentile or Samaritan who would listen. He spoke with courage. He spoke with boldness. He spoke with conviction. Gone were the fears of failure, rejection, reprisal. Gone were fears of what others would think.

That change only happens when  we quit focusing on ourselves and focus on Him. It requires God opening our hearts to be receptive to Him. It means God opening our minds to see ourselves as the completely incapable, hopelessly dead worms that we are.

When that happens, and only when that happens can we see the feast laid before us, the great catch that awaits us. God never called us to be comfortable, He calls us to be dependent.

May He open our eyes to see our need of Him.

Happy Easter my friends. He is Alive! Jesus loves you and I do too.
Jeff Sutherland
FortMorganMinistries@gmail.com
FortMorganMinistries.blogspot.com