Monday, May 28, 2018

My Favorite Place





Looking out the window of  the SICU room at Pensacola’s Sacred Heart hospital I saw the spot where nine years ago I put the star on top of the 75' Christmas tree. My mind wandered back to the time when I cautiously stepped foot into the small bucket of the 75' lift that would bring to completion weeks of work on the tree seen around Pensacola.
Inch by inch we moved up the side of the tree, every foot higher I heard my heart beating louder. I couldn't do it, my knees were shaking so hard I thought the  lift would topple over.

Nine years later my knees were sore from spending all night praying for my wife of 30 years. The night before I had come home from my work at the rescue mission to find my wife laying passed out on the floor near comatose from a stroke.

Once the paramedics got her in the ambulance and to Sacred Heart they told me her blood sugar was over 1400, 14 times average. The resulting stroke may have permanently damaged her brain. “If she makes it through the night, there is a chance she will live, but she could be a vegetable, we just don’t know yet,” the doctor told me.

Two weeks of ICU, a week step down, another week in the hospital, three weeks in rehab, another eight weeks in a hospital bed in our living room with rehab nurses checking her daily and a feeding tube that lasted another two months resulted in an effective but costly and undesirable weight loss program. We don’t recommend it.

We share this not to get your pity but to challenge you to remember a time when all seemed lost, when nothing was going right and the world looked dark.

No one except maybe a crazed self-absorbed man bent on ultimate divorce would ever pray, ‘God, please give my wife a stroke.’ Yet thinking back to that dreadful night on my knees at Sacred Heart hospital, we have seen God at work, selecting just the right nurse, the perfect doctor, a host of home health and rehabilitation folks to guide us through this difficult time. Not only that  He continually paraded in front of us our friends offering to help in very specific, very direct ways.

Most of all though: He worked on our hard hearts. You see prior to her stroke, even though I was working at a rescue mission for homeless and addicted men and my wife was working as a seemingly lone Christian in a very hedonistic organization, our hearts were far from Him. I can help these guys, I would say. My wife would add that she too was alone making a difference in her work. In both cases we didn’t acknowledge that He might need to work on us too.

The men at the mission began reaching out to me, gathering around to pray for me, bringing me an extra piece of chocolate cake, coming into my office to comfort me. I was supposed to be the chaplain. I was a biblical counselor yet God used those men to humble me and teach me His ways.

My wife who had always had the perfect home, clean, neat, always tidy discovered over the next few months what was really important. We both turned to Him in fresh new waves of dependence and trust. Doubts  crept in. What if she doesn’t get better? What if she never goes back to work? What if another stroke kills her? But they were always replaced with support, encouragement and His provision.

Daily we would get new bills but  miraculously there was always money to pay. God taught us to depend on Him fresh each day. One such day, many months later I hesitatingly called Sacred Heart. “We haven’t received a bill.” And every time I called they would say we are still talking with the insurance companies, often it takes a year or so before you receive a bill. Wow, what a relief, by then my wife will be back at work and we will have saved enough to at least put a down payment on what we owed the hospital.

The bill that would be over $100,000 even with our insurance was something I admit woke me up at night. Finally, the one year mark came and I forced myself to call.

The billing department clerk found my file and said, sir, we show no payment is needed. What? What do you mean? I asked. She said, your account is paid in full!

That night as I led the chapel service I shared how God had provided in such a wonderful and unexpected way but it was only the beginning of the change that He is still working on since that horrible night in the ICU at Sacred Heart.

You see, He doesn’t want us comfortable, rich and self-absorbed. He works to lovingly teach us to be dependent on Him for everything. We need to stop and thank Him for loving us enough to not leave us in our defiant, self-oriented mindset.

It can start anywhere at anytime. An ICU room, an oncologists office, a funeral parlor or a in the middle of a war, all work to begin changing our lives to see them as He does. Are you listening?

My favorite place of all time? Wherever I see Him working. It is Memorial Day and it is good and right to remember those who fought and died for our freedoms. In that vein you will find attached articles that deal with tough times in the hospital, family crisis and helping those with PTSD. 
One day soon I'd like to share a story of how God works in the most difficult of circumstances. Imagine you are at Pearl Harbor as the Japanese are bombing and later God asks you to forgive the man who bombed you. Could you? Would you? I know a guy who did! 
If this all sounds crazy to you, let's talk.


FortMorganMinistries@gmail.com 



Friday, May 11, 2018

Mother’s Day. A day of prayer.



Two years ago we celebrated Mother’s Day with the death of our Mom. Many of you won’t understand that. How can you celebrate in the middle of grief? How can you commemorate Mother’s Day when Mom is no longer with you? How can you ever get over losing someone so close to you?

It is true it has been two years and there are still times I wish I could pick up the phone and share my accomplishments, my pain and my gripes, but mostly my gripes. Mom would patiently listen to my griping about my boss, about my sore back, about my forgetfulness, about traffic, about our unruly puppies, then she would laugh, adding, “it only gets worse.” Thanks Mom. You really know how to encourage. But, she was right. She usually was.

Traffic has gotten worse. Aches and pains have increased. Our newest puppies do not mind better. And yes I am more…What was I saying?

I may remember on Mother’s Day how much I miss her. I may be reminded of her when my cell phone rings, or the roast comes out of the oven (her recipe), or I get mad at the driver in front of me on the road yet what I remember best is what makes Mother’s Day so special now. This Sunday when we go to church, someone will pray. Prayer reminds me more of Mom than a pink Azalea, a Blue Jay, a little black MG, or an episode of M.A.S.H.

That is what makes her death so cherished to me. She taught me how to pray. More importantly she taught me why to pray. Mom set aside 3 main prayer times during her day. In the morning she would thank God for all He does. This included:

Another day, breathing (something that comes hard every second with Emphazema, Asthma, Chronic Bronchitis), her family. her church, her friends, her life, God’s provision…this went on for an hour at times.

Mid-afternoon she would pray for others, those who asked her to pray for them, people others asked her to pray for (people called her constantly to add __________ to her list). This could take a long time as each prayer included details of the person being prayed for and usually led to the person who asked for her to pray. This time was not about her. It was for others.

At the end of the evening, as she lay down, she would thank God for the day and add any new prayers but mostly she begged His forgiveness for where she had failed Him today. Usually at this point she would fall asleep, content in His forgiveness.

You might wonder what an 80 year old woman who spent her day in prayer for others, focusing on their needs would have to ask forgiveness for. Her evening prayers consisted of asking forgiveness for lost opportunities mostly. “I forgot to thank that kind man who helped me with my groceries today.”

Don’t get me wrong, I could choose to remember how she corrected me when I was wrong or made me come home earlier than other Mom’s did. I could dredge up things she did that hurt me or stay focused on times when she got angry. But, I won’t. I refuse to do that.

Mom wasn’t perfect. As I got older, I had the privilege to get to know her as an adult. What an honor. Best memories? Easter Sunrise service at Brother Bryan Park, my prayer for snow New Year’s eve 1964…(she said you can’t pray selfishly like that)…second worst snowstorm in Birmingham’s history…and praying with her at her apartment.

How awesome to hear my Mom going to the Father, for me. She had done it thousands of times before. She was practiced at praying for others. My prayer is she passed this passion for prayer on to all her family and friends.

Thanks Mom. Love you! See you soon.

jeff


Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Moses and the Burning Bush…Exodus 4

Do you ever turn on your computer and click on something to open it, like Word or Facebook all you see is the little blue cursor spinning. If your like me you get angry. You ask it to do one simple thing, something it is designed to do and you see it still spinning. Maybe you get frustrated and just reboot, starting over.

Think God ever does that? Think He ever gets angry at us just sitting there doing nothing when He has called us to a specific task? I didn’t remember Him doing that but today I read Exodus 4. You know, Moses and the burning bush? As I read I counted eight excuses Moses made. God kept answering them

 1. Who am I? (to do this for You)

2. They won’t believe me

3. Throw down your staff….ok, pick up that snake (uh, I’m Presbyterian Lord, no snake handling)

4. Put your hand in your cloak, becomes leperous, put it back, it’s restored (magician’s tricks Lord)

5. Pour water from Nile and it turns to blood (blood, gross, how about wine)

6. I’m not eloquent (yet I know how to use that big word properly)

7. I’m slow of speech (who made your mouth? Who makes people blind, deaf and mute?)

8. Please send someone else (Anyone!)

At this point the Lord’s anger burned against Moses. I will be your mouth, I will teach you what to say.  Right then, not coincidentally, Aaron who speaks well, shows up.  Moses, you speak to him, put words in his mouth. I will be with you both and teach you what to do and say.

Next time you see your mouse clicker spinning, not doing what you ask it to do, be patient. What if He chose to reboot you and start over like He almost did with Moses.  What if He chose to harden your heart to His Word like He did Pharaoh, making you unable to hear, see or respond to Him?

Beware. Some people just think or write, while others actually do what God has called them to do and that is make disciples. The assignments are seldom what we would choose to do. We will never feel ready. We will always seem unprepared, thinking others are more qualified than we are.

You see someone struggling, heading toward divorce, you find out someone in your church is sick, you know someone who is running as hard as they can from God, living a life worse than an atheist and you think, I need to get our pastor to go see my friends.

No, my friend, God is calling you in those situations. It may not be a dramatic burning bush in the desert with audible words from our Lord but God put those opportunities on your plate. When your realize that you go through the same excuses Moses did. Who am I? They won’t believe me. I’m not eloquent. I am slow of speech. Please, Lord, send someone else. Or, at least let someone else go with me.

Just remember, if He agrees to send someone with you, He expects you to teach them what to say!

Oh, and as for the 'parlor' tricks of snakes and blood, He has given us much better ones. He promises to put His Word in our hearts. He promises to bring to our remembrance His Word stored in our hearts. He has given us the Comforter to live in us, guide us, convict us, encourage us. Moses, on that day, had none of those things. 

Here is a link to the scat version of Moses and the Burning Bush. Actually sang this in front of the congregation at Briarwood, in high school, 1977. Singing, in front of an audience….true fear!




Is God asking you to do something you fear you are unqualified to do. Congratulations! He is inviting you into a deeper walk with Him. Need help finding resources for handouts, or someone to walk with you through counseling someone else, or just someone to talk through this struggle with you? We are here to help. Let us know how we can work and pray with you. We have attached two articles you will find helpful when struggling with what God has called you do


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